Since the beginning of my very convoluted exploration of consciousness, way back at the end of the 1980’s, I have resisted the word “healer.”
One of the first things I attended at The College of Psychic Studies in London was a healing course. By week three I was asked by the course leader if I would be interested in working at the free healing clinic they offered. Very quickly, I was working, under supervision, with clients. I had had hardly any training, and certainly not done much work on myself at that stage. (This wouldn’t happen now. It was a very different world back then!)
Although I have trained and worked in that field, I never thought of myself as a healer. It seemed a silly title to give myself. I obviously wasn’t doing the healing, I was simply a conduit for energy. It was that, the energy that flowed, in conjunction with the wisdom of the recipients system, that did any healing.
I still believe this to be the case. I was very happy with the idea of being an “energy worker”, and if someone asks, that is what I tell them I do. I work in the energy field of a client to facilitate change. I was sidestepping.
Over the past 35years, there have been three occasions when I have been asked by my team, would I accept the word and role of healer. I have never said yes to that request. I was fully aware that an energetic shift would occur if I did. I simply never wanted to.
Actually, it’s not so simple. There were many reasons I didn’t want to accept that title or role or even the word. But I didn’t deeply explore my resistance, or the reason for the request.
A couple of weeks ago, in meditation, I was asked again. This time, I could feel what I was resisting, and what was wanting to open up.
I said yes. There was a big shift in my field. An understanding of past life confusions, misdeeds, betrayals and punishments that lead me to resist this word. Also the simple belief that I wasn’t “good enough”, aligned enough, healed enough to give myself that title. That belief was no longer real for me.
I was shown very clearly that not accepting, not stepping into the role, I was limiting the way in which energy could work through me.
I was keeping channels and streams of energy closed by not saying yes. Trainings from other times were kept off limits by not accepting this as a part of my path.
As I wrote that last sentence, I had a visceral, energetic shift of stepping fully onto a path rather than running alongside it.
It was shown to me that this is now more about working with groups. The team of energy that works with us on teleconferences, and in the field, will expand to include things I have been resisting, possibilities, maybe, dare I say it, healings.
I guess I feel ready at last to step into another role, accept it. I think all of the many roles we live need to be worn very lightly. They are not who we are. It is not useful to become too identified with any role.
So this teleconference, is not about me being “the healer”, and you coming for healing. It is about us gathering to activate deeper potentials within ourselves and each other.
It is about all of us stepping into our role, ancient roles that we have long prepared for. It is an activation of our deeper potential to heal. Ourselves, our lives, others, our world.
I have the strongest sense that as deeper potentials in us are activated, then it becomes less about doing and more about being. There is a deeper dimension opening up in us, all of us. This feels strange, as if you have lost your footing. But a bigger space has opened, more of the energy field is available for us to consciously occupy.
This activation is a part of that.