Description
Yesterday, out walking Rafi, I felt strange. Nothing unusual in that these days—but this was unlike anything I’ve experienced before, and i don’t quite have the words. It was subtle and pronounced at the same time. Outwardly, I felt deeply tired, and as if I were on the verge of tears, with nothing in particular to be upset about.
I sat on a bench and turned inward to check in. As soon as I did, I experienced what felt like a feminine portal—a vagina-shaped cavern opening in my head. Last year in South Africa, we explored many caverns shaped like this. Unmistakably, they were entry points into the feminine mysteries of the Earth Mother.
As I saw this inwardly, I understood: I was being invited into my own inner mysteries. This is the third time in recent weeks that I’ve experienced this kind of initiatory movement. So there I sat, on the bench, focused inward, and entered the cavern that was opening within my head. Immediately, I became aware of a light—egg-shaped, glowing, and partially covered. Imagine an egg wrapped in a banana skin that’s half peeled. That’s the closest I can come to describing it.
I sat with that light and watched as it slowly revealed itself. As I did, I felt acutely that our inner mystery school is opening up—collectively. The veils are indeed thinning, and it’s becoming possible to drop beneath the layers of the personality-self into this inner space, this temple, this sanctum. We’re being beckoned inward, now, to be present with what’s unfolding. It is precious. And it needs the midwifery of the inner gaze to support its integration.
We must come to know ourselves again at these deeper levels—as these elements and aspects. We are not just a collection of wounds in need of healing. We are so much more. And much of that “moreness” lies beyond the comprehension of intellect. It needs be felt. Known. This “more” is unveiling itself as a continual inner process. The personality’s operating system is stretched thin over what’s rising from within.
A few weeks ago, something similar happened on another walk with Rafi. I felt a tightness in my chest and stopped to explore. As I turned inward, a vagina-shaped cavern opened in the space of my heart, and I was drawn inside. There, I met a mermaid sitting quietly on a rock. It was a gentle, silent meeting. She was simply glad to be seen, known, and integrated—as an aspect of my inner landscape. Or perhaps not just my landscape—ours. I believe that in these places, we are on the boundary where the personal and collective meet and merge. I know this is available to all. At some level, my body serves as a representative of the collective consciousness. What happens here, can happen anywhere.
We’ll be exploring this further in tomorrow’s gathering. The long-suppressed Feminine is rising—in and for all of us. This isn’t limited to those in a female body. The disconnection has been collective, and now it is returning—rising from the depths of the unconscious. Men, especially straight men, may struggle more with this. It may feel threatening to their identity. There may be an intensification of resistance in the outer world. This emergence isn’t a threat—it is our becoming whole again. It’s unstoppable.
The inner temples are opening their doors once more. All that was known will be known again. The tumult we see in the outer world mirrors the deconstruction happening within. Focus more on the inner than the outer. Shift your attention inward, and anchor yourself in the depths that are emerging, rather than being swept away by the flood carrying the old away.
